Improving Human Relationships 2
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Click each link to display new info BELOW the article to the right. (Then Scroll Down) Understanding Personality Types & Temperaments versus disordersPersonality Disorders presenting predictable behaviors |
Improving Human Relationships is a Mission 2000 Objective that may best be achieved when we understand relationships and the dynamics of how they work so that we are better equipped and skilled to take actions that can improve them. Relationships that we have with others are many and varied from loved ones, to co-workers, to acquaintances, to enemies up to and including the opponent who is seeking to destroy us. Where There is Preparation There Is No Fear. And we must keep in our mind that some relationships can only be improved when ended, such as the unpleasant relationship every agressor initiates with every victim. While Soo Bahk Do Moo Duk Kwan training focuses much of our time and attention on how to effectively deal with the physical aggressor, the skilled practitioner can also translate the philosophy and techniques of our art into an advanced understanding of how to deal with the behaviors commonly experienced in our relationships with non physical opponents. Those who take advantage of others, victimize others, trespass against others and abuse others... > Read full article |
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... often do not demonstrate a number of social behaviors that most of us grow to anticipate or expect in others around us, however, their deceptive ways can conceal their true intent from the unaware victim and thus the absence of important core character traits goes generally unoticed in these individuals. For example, thoughtfulness, courtesy, kindness, empathy, reciprocation, consideration, etc. may be absent in individuals demonstrating the most abberant behaviors, but the same people missing these social traits may be friendly, out-going and generally well liked by those just outside their circle of abusive behaviors. When limits and boundaries are violated,then discipline and respect are absent. Those who can identify the red flags and warning signs know what lies beneath and that they are not immmune to the underlying behaviors such red flags illuminate. Should we ever assume such people are operating under the same set of social rules that we are, it is not a question of IF our demise will find us, only a question of when it will come.
In a physical battle we can be relatively certain that the intent of the aggressor is to harm us or destroy us; however, the intent of others with whom we have different kinds of relationships can be much less obvious, even invisible to us. Determining the true intent of another person's behavior requires a much higher level of self-awareness and a much higher understanding of common behavior patterns than many practitioners develop. Interestingly, many human behaviors are so predictable that they are classified as illnesses (DSM-IV), but much less severe presentations of those same behaviors may be evident in ourselves and people all around us. Such mild predictability is commonly characterized as personality types or temperaments.
Just as we learn sets of Soo Bahk Do techniques and defenses to counter physical attacks, the practitioner who explores the nature and dynamics of human relationships and studies the behaviors that occur within them and then learns to assess and identify the intent driving specific human behaviors, will have a distinct advantage over those without such knowledge and skill. Sa Bom Nim Bill Nelson has authored a very informative book titled "Your Weapon Within" that can help one identify some common "red flag" behaviors in potential aggressors. The more we know and apply, the better prepared we are to meet any challenge, whether physical or emotional, and emotional self defense skills can be just as important as physical self defense skills.
Practitioners skilled in the more subtle understandings of human relationships and human behavior will also have the greatest opportunity to actually improve human relationships in all their actions; both by avoiding negative behaviors in themselves and by identifying the intent of those who target themselves or others with negative behaviors and learning how to effectively deal with those behaviors.
Effectively dealing with aberrant or troubling behaviors in inter-personal relationships with others may require one to identify the behavior pattern being presented as separate from the individual being dealt with in order to see past all the other aspects of the relationship. For example, when dealing with an aggressor swinging a baseball bat downward toward our head, if we plan to survive the attack they have initiated toward us, our defensive response cannot be determined by the aggressor's name or age or gender or who they are in our life, only by the nature of their attack and the type of response that we need to initiate to protect ourself. Acquiring the knowledge and developing the skill to identify behavior patterns and separate them from the individual presenting them toward us or others can be difficult at least and impossible at most, but the practitioner who develops such skill is much more likely to prevail when confronted by a conflict with another, whether physical or emotional.
Readers interested in gaining a heightened awareness about some common and well-documented relationship dynamics that have very predictable behavior patterns associated with them are invited to explore the learning resources on the wiki. Many useful links, etc. have been identified and brought to your attention by fellow members. Clicking each of the links to the left will present new information at the bottom of this page.
Phil Duncan
2008-05-09